The A to Z of You and Me by James Hannah

Author:James Hannah
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Random House UK, Transworld Publishers
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

What’s–? What’s the time?

It’s light. Afternoon light.

They must have left me to sleep through the day.

I was awake all night.

I look up and I’m surprised to see, crackling at the doorway to my room, loaded with blowsy colourful flowers, Amber.

‘Oh, hello!’

‘Hiya.’ She gives me a weary smile. ‘She’s gone.’

‘Amber, I’m so sorry.’

‘She went last night.’

‘Come in, come in.’

‘We’ve just come to collect a few of her things. Hospital bag and nightie, slippers. We’re going to take them home and – I don’t know, wash them or something.’

She looks up at me and smiles.

‘How are you?’

‘I’m – I’m doing OK at the moment, thanks. It’s a relief mostly, I think. She’s – she did so well. I’m so proud of her.’

I nod, smile.

She looks down in her lap, and seems to see what she’s carrying. ‘I brought you some flowers.’

‘Ah man, how have you found time to do that?’

‘I wanted to go and have a look at some flowers for Mum, and I thought you’d like some to brighten up your day.’

‘Ah wow, they’re lovely.’ She hands me the wrap of about twenty stems. ‘Man, just amazing. Ranunculus, absolutely my favourite – how did you know?’

‘You said you used to work at the garden centre up by the junction.’

‘Are these from there?’ I turn the tag over and see the familiar old logo.

‘I went out there this morning and mentioned you, and they said they thought you’d like these best.’

I’m stunned.

‘I know you don’t want many visitors, so you can’t get many flowers or anything. So I wanted to let you know I’ve been thinking about you, and I’m really – like – really thankful to you. And all the people you used to work with are thinking of you as well.’

I catch my breath, rattle, and there’s nothing else I can say.

What can I say?

She is golden.

‘Twenty-two years I worked there,’ I say.

‘I hope you don’t mind,’ she says. ‘It seemed like – it seemed like a thing to do.’

‘Just – thank you.’

She gathers up the flowers and sets about arranging them neatly in my water jug. I watch her, amused. Not sure Sheila’s going to like the smattering of rebellion.

‘What?’ says Amber, turning and seeing my look. ‘I’m improvising.’

‘You go for it.’

While she finishes her little act of vandalism, I straighten myself in the bed and try to slap my face into some kind of being. With permission, Amber rinses her fingertips in the bathroom and flicks the excess on to the floor on her way back to the visitors’ chair.

‘I – I wanted to tell you,’ she says, ‘I didn’t exactly go to the garden centre just to get flowers.’

‘No?’

‘Not at first. I wanted to – I wanted to see if I could find her.’ She gestures at my blanket. ‘Your girlfriend, who crocheted your blanket. You spoke so warmly about her, and you seemed so much in love, I wanted – I wanted to see if I could get you to see her again.’

I feel absolutely still. Absolutely calm.

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